When the Light Doesn't Change Fast Enough...

For some reason today, I had to stop. A lot. About 100 times. This is not an exaggeration. I got every red light on the way to... and every red light on the way back. Then there was a traffic jam, of sorts, in which no reason was available for the delay. No accident, no ducks crossing the road, no train, stalled bus, or police traffic stop. A lot of inconvenient stops. I had no control over the situation. I could not move. I was in the middle of stop. A stop without explanation or obvious, visual, reason. Stop. Wait. Just, no to the 'go'.

It got ugly out there in short order; some people tried to get out of the line. The impatience was visible, even though the reason for the delay was not. They decided to take control into their own hands... pulling out into the wrong lane and turning around in front on-coming traffic, very nearly causing an accident. I stayed put. Watched and hoped there wasn't an accident, or a road-rage episode percolating.

While I wasn't moving... I succumbed to the regular impatient peer-pressure and got a bit impatient myself. The lights were not changing fast enough. I was becoming irritated with the people who were driving unsafely. I wanted to get going; get to my destination, but events, rules and circumstances deterred my progress. Not a thing I could do, but wait it out.

Of course, as I often do... my mind wanders to life and connections between circumstances and life lessons. I feel, personally, at a bit at a red light; life out of my control. Many of my blog posts have identified my desire to move to Ottawa; my hopes to attain permanency in my 'long-term temporary' position at work; to buy a condo; to get married. But these are a series of 'red lights' keeping me stuck to wait at my present circumstances indefinitely. A lot of inconvenient stops. I have no control over the situation. I can not move (literally AND figuratively). I am in the middle of stop. A stop without explanation or obvious, visual, reason. Stop. Wait. Just, no to the 'go'. The light just isn't changing fast enough.

The other day I wrote about 'some exceptions apply', and made comments about how my life is great, but that there are some things yet, which 'cause me to wonder. And I'm still there.. this whole, stopping issue has me thinking again. BUT - it is with less anxiety ... maybe not the right word... with less, impatience as the other day. Because the red light issue... showed me that, sometimes waiting ... is faster than being impatient and going about it my own way.

See, the people that left the line; turned around (into on-coming traffic), very nearly caused an accident. They ended up taking side streets which lead to nowhere... they had to turn around; and by that time, the original line they left, had moved. Some had to go way out of their way to find a main artery towards their original destination. Their impatience, led them further way from the goal.

Once we got through the bottle-neck (which - honestly.. I can't figure out... there weren't any accidents. Or roadblocks. The jam eased up and it was completely free-flow traffic; no obstacles. I zoomed towards my destination; the others - impatiently still driving around and around, getting nowhere.

And that is my lesson... a better resolution (albeit temporary) to my quandary... I am in wait mode.. but if I stick with it; stay focused on hearing from God (persevering through the silences), I am more apt to get to my destination sooner, than if I leave the path to seek my own way. Does that make sense? Because I think, GOD knows my plans.. He says it... "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good, not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (from Jeremiah, in the bible). Sure, I am waiting... but the bottleneck will give eventually - in His time.